What is happiness? Is it a choice?
The subject is talked about obsessively. There’s a ton of media focused on why we aren’t happy, and all kinds of advice on how to get there that largely misses the point. Happiness doesn’t come from success or material wealth, or even from a place where everything in life is going perfectly.
We do have an opportunity to choose happiness, but it’s really a matter of choosing something else entirely. Happiness is the byproduct.
So much of the “happiness media” we encounter has to do with fixing things. It’s all about pinpointing discontent and seeking solutions to the tune of self-improvement: generating more business, being in better shape, making more money, optimizing something… All focused on areas where things aren’t good enough.
We are constantly striving in pursuit of “being better” because of a false notion that “fixing” ourselves will make us happy. It doesn’t. This mentality keeps us in a cycle of needing constant improvement, and that’s a direct barrier to the areas of life where we find true happiness.
In reality, happiness is so simple, it’s hard.
In the audio presentation below, I explore this topic in detail, examining the ways we get in our way and block the potential for actual, simple happiness.
We look for it in the wrong places, and cloud our ability to find it with judgments about how we should be, how the world should be, how the people around us should be, and endless “should” statements that seek to impose our expectations on the world.
And so, that’s where we get to the real choice…
You perhaps choose to be happy by letting go of those expectations and preconceived ideas about how things “should” be, and embracing the full spectrum of life – whatever the results or consequences – and allowing yourself to gain something from each and every experience.
This means allowing experiences to come into your heart and mind without filtering them through your expectations, seeing others (and yourself) as complete human beings, and understanding that discontent is rooted in the narrow models we impose on reality.
We need to unplug from our mental models, actively dismantle cynicism, let go of the fear of not being enough, and become a participant in the unfolding reality of life.
It’s meeting the world as it is, time and time again, without the filter of assigning meaning or interpretations, without trying to control reality. From this viewpoint, happiness is rooted in acceptance and awareness, seeing all of reality (good, bad, or indifferent) as a part of nature to be absorbed and learned from – not something to be molded into an internal ideal or confusing our subjective, interior thoughts as the center of the universe.
Maybe it’s about “being” instead of “being happy.”
Can you meet reality with playfulness and curiosity? Can you accept that the future is an unfolding dynamic that is happening at every second? Can you open your heart for the sake of it, not for a return or a reward, but because it’s what reality is asking of you?
Happiness lies on the other side expectation.
Can you expect nothing and welcome everything?
