Change comes in two forms: planned change, where we put intentions in motion to bring about new outcomes, and adaptive change, where circumstances beyond our control introduce newness that we must adjust to.
But even within these two forms, elements of the other are present. In our planned efforts, unexpected events derail our best intentions. In moments of adaptive change, we still have the opportunity to guide our actions.
Over years of coaching, I’ve developed an approach to change that balances these differences and connects the similarities – a way of thinking and being that positions us in the present and allows us to be an active participant in the emerging future.
Change can be defined by four A’s. In the audio presentation below, I go into deeper detail and provide greater context for each, but this introduction will help you develop a framework for approaching change that empowers flexibility and creativity.
After all, change is a dance with the emergence of life. We must know how to lead – and how to to follow.
As we cover the four A’s, bend the beam back to yourself to consider how you’ve done these things naturally, which feel difficult to embrace, and how they each apply to the planned and adaptive changes you’ve experienced.
Accept
To contend with change of any kind, you must first accept reality as it truly is.
Meet the situation at hand with open eyes and an open heart. Can you stay with what’s happening? Can you stay present with the experience? Can you stay connected to what’s going on, whatever form it takes?
Preconceptions, expectations, reactions, beliefs… Our cognitive structures keep us focused on history, not the present. These are all thoughts of control, of making reality conform to us, not the other way around.
To stay present, you have to regulate your automatic mind. The first A of change is accepting reality as it is, not how you want it to be.
Awareness
After acceptance, we need awareness. This is the act of observing your beliefs, with the willingness to ask whether they’re true. It’s seeing where you might be deceiving yourself, where your expectations might be clouding your judgment, and what kind of box you’re putting yourself in.
We all have boxes, of course, but many of us don’t even see them.
Awareness is seeing how your concepts are getting in the way of reality, where your beliefs are keeping you in place, and how your thoughts are tinting the moment.
Being the observer, unconditionally accepting what is here.
Attending
From which place inside you are you attending? What is guiding your interaction with the moment? With others? With the change at hand?
Your interior condition is critical.
Are you in the first person (the mind), attending only from yourself, seeing the world through your own filters and the story you tell yourself?
Or are you attending from outside yourself (the heart), with awareness and acceptance of reality and the people around you?
Attending from the heart instead of the mind allows you to see and accept the experiences of others – even if they don’t align with your own. This openness allows you to be activated by what you encounter, with reality as it is, not what you expect it to be.
This is the path to compassion, generosity, and service that creates meaningful change, and a source of agility that allows you make choices based on acceptance and awareness, not forcing reality to fit a mold you’ve created in your mind.
Attention
Where do you choose to put your attention? We have the flexibility of placing attention at will, but we each have to reclaim that ability.
Is your attention on yourself? On a predetermined outcome? Or is your attention on managing your awareness to meet reality as it is, to take the next step as defined by the current situation, and to interact with emerging reality with openness and curiosity?
Choosing, consciously, where to place your attention throughout the process of any change – informed by acceptance, awareness, and appropriate attendance – is a superpower. It makes you open and agile, interested and inspired… Energy flows where attention goes.
Carry these four A’s as you embrace your ability to engage with the present.
At every moment of change, you have the opportunity to dance with the emerging qualities of the future, or close yourself off in a box of preconceived expectations and selfish thinking. Which will you choose?
