How Sold Are You?
You want the next level of performance, but you’re forgetting the most important sale of all: you! When buyers turn away from you (don’t buy) there are many factors upon which you can learn why? One of the more fundamental factors that repel your potential buyers is your lack of convictions. When you’re not sold on yourself, your product, or your service’s value, it’s easy to project that onto other’s responses toward you.
People buy people. If you examine the last 5 products or services you bought, it wasn’t the product you bought for. It was the way the person sold it to you that biased your selection. You selected based on the value it could bring to you. This is called “value creation.”
Value creation starts by valuing one’s gifts inspired by the goals that summon them. But since many people haven’t learned how to use the creative process, their personal gifts are under piles of rubble. They’ve learned since their childhood social roles and ideals to be adequate and accepted, instead of learning to create what mattered to them. Instead of drawing confidence from how they affect the world, they drew confidence from the way the world defined them with answers.
Going into later life, these people haven’t poised their perceived skills toward their perceived challenge. Most of what they do is operating from the familiar, not what they desire and do best. This is most often due to the lack of choice to create what matters. And teachers and parents neglected to understand the kids by helping them see gifts they could build a path upon.
But the old conditioning can shift, in fact, it must shift to continue to last and thrive in a world where creating business as art is what holds people’s attention to you. Authenticity, significance, and utility have fused into what has the most value and impact for consumers today.
Without the artist rising in them, a person has just lost the first and primary sale with their self. And this lost sale turns outward to the universe telling someone else that they’re not a good investment. “Iron sharpens Iron,” as the saying goes. But if someone hasn’t any clue on what matters to them nor any idea of what is in them to bring toward that, they’re invisible. And someone invisible is about as good as a website with no one to guide the buyer. It’s a commodity sale. The one thing a website, software, or machine cannot match is creativity. And for the destruction of creativity to stop, it warrants a new bulwark into living consistently with one’s intrinsic desires and personal gifts, where art meets prophecy.
So how does one get sold? How do you bring yourself to the right customer for you? Understanding oneself is the first sale! Falling in love is so easy; it’s hard. We start by considering what really does matter or not to us. It’s very personal. And then we organize our business around what that is and rid our life of what doesn’t matter. When we put our life spirit into what matters most, the world responds with a reverence for the art of life we make out of the love we give it.
Coming to terms with content in your life that matters or not is a key factor which affects how the world relates to you and your business. When you’re occupied with work that doesn’t matter to you, it doesn’t belong to you. And it doesn’t belong to someone else either. It’s meaningless work that no customer wants. Your truest work or big work is what you’re meant to do, and the signpost is clear when your work matters and makes the contributions to others that you delight in. It’s what pleasurably involves you at a level where your engagement drives the quality of your work product. In fact, when you’re creating out of this skill you lose track of time because of such intensive immersion to the experience of it. You truly bring your very best quality of you to what you’re doing. Singers, songwriters, athletes, entertainers, painters, writers, entrepreneurs, salespersons, they all have the capabilities to come into this space and operate from it all the time.
You cannot fake love, nor can it be manufactured. That would be synthetic. You either love someone or something, or you don’t. It’s ineffable why. You can’t read how to in books either. When your business composes what matters to you, you tend to move into skills that are better than anyone alive. This is why there’s so much talk about passion. Passion is the generative side of loving something for its own sake. If you ask a business owner why he does what he does, he’ll answer that he doesn’t really know why or how. It just matters, and he just does it. He can’t NOT do it. He answers, “Because it’s who I am.” He’s creating out of the love that he was made with. There’s nothing en-vogue or cool he could say to describe it, in fact, if it smells that way, he’s not coming from this source of love I’m describing. He’s trying to impress you to offset his doubts.
When you’re embodied in what you create, you’re walking in the meaning and spirit of your creations that matter to you. Your intentions straighten your backbone as you put your faith into your goals. You’re able to open the path up to new vistas as you walk with the love of your gifts aimed at creating that which you deeply desire. It’s as if you operate from a future self that needs you now, to come into being. Something is standing in need of you, as you connect the dots to what’s emerging via mining your current experiences with more depth and intimacy. Your quality of action exudes from this place of meaningful work and what is essential to you is then imbued with obedience. It’s as if a sacred project has recruited your most sacred skills that only you are invited by the whole to bring through the portal to those you stand in need of you. You learn to trust this place with courage out of the love that made you.
As you read that last paragraph, perhaps you begin to understand this is a simpler way into things. You come to terms with your power. This power is not pre-occupied with keeping it, but neutral to the idea of losing it or gaining it. It is what I call “authentic power.” It is to create what matters as it is asking you to be more of you. It is the alignment of true Self and Work; to stay in the origins of the ultimate creativity.
People often tell me what a privilege it would be to love their work. My answer: are you kidding? What you love is what you’re born to do, no different than a horse that’s born to run in a pasture. I’m not saying that this has to be what makes you rich, or what you have to earn a living doing. If you can great, if not, then find a way to it; get the means to in some other way. Why do you need a pass? Why do you need so much permission? You’re not the one who gets lucky; the world gets lucky when you become true to yourself. You don’t have a choice to do it or not; it’s what you owe the world. The gifted qualities that come with this source of love belong to the world, not you. And if you don’t insist on this like I’m talking about, no one else will either. Your life will get all out of whack if you neglect this course. Everything else, and everyone else is then on the hook to replace the misfortune of you. A deep sense of emptiness, loneliness, and imbalance swells like an inner infection.
So what barriers stand between you and occupying this place?
#1 Defining Work
How do you define work? Is it supposed to be hell? Is it about suffering enough to have something? Or is it about fun? We all love to bring people into what they love. We’ll sit and watch musicians play for hours or watch athletes dazzle us. We find enormous entrancing value in watching people play, operate, perform and listen from what they love.
#2 Avoid the Risk
What risk do you have? The only risk is not living it. What you fear risking is the potential that it just might work. If it did work, it would betray your old thinking and silly thinking of others around you who’ve matched yours. When you put faith into what you love it’s like trusting your best instruments to fly you through good and bad weather, and in the darkness of the night. Stepping into the unknown future with your convictions and intention is like summoning unforeseen forces that come to your aid. It’s a recipe for predictable miracles.
#3 Being Practical
I have responsibility —-payments, a house, debts to pay, and this is too reckless. You can lose your house, your money, your debts, these come and go, but what will remain unchanged is your soul. And if you stop moving, voicing, enchanting, and reflecting out of the stillness which speaks into your primary knowing of what to do, you’re off course. The wheelhouse of the ship is out of alignment with the entire boat.
At the end of your life, you’ll be asking yourself if you lived the unlived life or lived fully. Did you express what was in you to give to the world? Did you speak what was in your heart? Did you follow your creative fire? Did you let go of your attachments to things in favor of coming home paying regular visits to your essential self?
#4 Seeking Approval
I have to be acceptable. I don’t want to risk isolation. If that’s where you’re operating from then people aren’t relating to you for being you; you’re wearing a mask to please them. Wearing a mask to cover up the self you can’t release to the world is like bottling up mineral water. How long can you wait until your gifts breakthrough? When will you choose to become a predominant creative force in your life? You can choose to live on your own terms; it’s a choice you can make. And it doesn’t mean losing relationships. In fact, look honestly around you. Do the people around you support you in your life dream? Is it time to get some new friends? Are they ‘given up’s’ on their dreams, or are they ‘grown-ups’ who appoint their gifts to the world like you.
I don’t qualify for doing what I love. Why not? Nothing disqualifies you from your life-building process to create what matters to you. If you want to be a sculptor, start sculpting. If you want to heal people, start nursing. If you want to learn business, create businesses. Knowledge isn’t necessary; you have enough to get started. By acting in an instant and stepping into the path of action with a goal in mind, you’ll begin learning through that goal as you bring it into being. You learn by following outcomes that matter to you.
#6 Save My Fall
I don’t have the savings cushion. I don’t have a backup plan. When you deep dive with all you’ve got into what you want, a new level of intensity influences velocity. You break free of resisting forces easier like a rocket leaving the gravity of the Earth on the way to the moon. The momentum you pick up breaks free of the resistance, like a love/hate relationship. That is why you choose to create what you love before it’s created. With that quality of energy behind it with intensive thrust, the pushback, headwind, whatever you want to call it, won’t have a fighting chance. These forces will end its grip due to the difference between driving force and resisting force. Knowing the resisting forces as a natural quality in the creative process helps you stay on course despite the constraints. Constraints make you agile and innovative, making the journey its own reward.
Fear is necessary, in fact, it’s a way of watching out for you because you care. You don’t want to hurt yourself. Instead of beating the fear, turn into it like turning into the storm. Stay with it; acknowledge its presence, power, and allurement. Appreciate it. Your fear is born out of concepts of a future prediction. These are not real; they are false, just stories like pockets of puss you pop like a zit. (Sorry for the visual). Don’t stuff the fear, give it space, call it over like an old friend or dog, and ask it what it wants.
Running over fear or negating it wears you down. Fear can be a great tool and useful place to look for truth and awaken to new teachings. You’ll probably discover that all fear wants is acceptance. It’s not there to outlaw the goals you have; it’s there to protect you from the unfamiliar, which is a noble energy. So lay down your weapons, no swords or shields with fear, please. Think of it like a nag who wants the best for you because they care. You can stand the nagging if it’s coming from there, right? Fearlessness isn’t absence of fear; it’s accepting fear and the nature of it. It’s not at issue with fear. And some fear is very useful. It prepares you for negative situations that are true threats.
When Laird Hamilton broke the largest wave ever ridden on record, he faced his fear. He had no time to think, only follow his instincts. He had never surfed a wave that size. He was surfing a 50-foot wave with 20-foot readiness. His fear was the bridge-builder to 50-foot wave readiness. He was more present, awake, and “on” mentally” and “physically” due to his fear, which then brought forth the capabilities to surf as the wave was desiring it.
He met his new self through fear. He made friends with fear and fear saved his life. During that ride Laird said he was turned inside out, time slowed way down as he lost himself and found himself. It was as if he died while he was alive, passing through the eye of the needle from something on it’s a way out, as something still indistinct was on its way to him. The ride changed him forever. Every moment of that ride was beyond belief. I can’t imagine the internal brain chemistry in conjunction with his nervous system during that defining moment. The high he must have felt taking such a magnificent leap is what keeps him barreling down waves that no one can match him on. And the inventiveness that he draws forth is completely different within the wave he coordinates with during the ride. He’s known for this flexibility and surrenders into helping the wave buoy his capabilities to new levels.
You’re so overwhelmed like all of us that you’ve gotten too busy to do anything that could make you a lot less busy. The world is turning at an incessantly frenetic pace. But you don’t have to live on the hamster wheel of this normality. You can learn to choose despite the circumstances you have, in fact, you must do this if you’re going to live in a creative orientation in life instead of a reactive one.
So when do we get your rise to your level of full excellence? When do we, the community, take delivery of the gifts lying dormant in you ready for action?
Clear the decks for action. Start taking non-essentials out of your life. Become your own bouncer. You’re the troll at the gateway who says what stays or goes. If you’re doing something for someone who could do it for themselves, stop! If you’re doing activities that should matter but actually don’t, end them. If you’re selling out to events and moments with people, activities, or places that don’t matter, say no thank you.
The Chain Reaction
Get ready for a chain reaction once you occupy what you genuinely care most about in life and what you love doing. The business of life is to swell upon your focus of attention. Life responds in coincidence with where you put your attention. You may find unique and serendipitous opportunities that drop right out of the present moment to position your gifts and urges. If you own a business, delegate, negate and automate any process or activity that infringes upon this energy. If you have a client deliverable or service item that you’re crazy about, think about making that your #1 economic denominator. It is the divisor of your business specialties—in fact, it is what makes you ubiquitous. Nothing runs off or fowls out of this domain. You’re always occupying this domain of self-efficacy with pigheaded commitment.
Practice, practice, practice. This area of focus is to become your new school. It is your craft. Focus on 10,000 hours of doing it, using it, applying it until it no one better alive can match you even when you need zero determination. You’re so good at what you’re doing that you need no self-motivation to prevail. It’s automatically the best in the world without trying. You just do it involuntarily.
Ask your Audience
Get fast feedback all the time. Ask if what you did was helpful and ask it a lot. If you ask this with openness to any outcome, then you’re able to treat successes and failures as equal assets. You’ll make great use of what didn’t work as a recovery pattern to higher and better skill levels.
Put your value in the audience’s hands. What’s valuable to them needs to be on the mark, not something that you assume. You can’t be a hair off on this. Make the audience safe to tell you how they received you, even if it was your very best. This truth telling is a choice, an acquired taste and creators use it to make adjustments in new capacity. Truth telling makes you resourceful. In fact, it’s the one thing you can do to galvanize your gifts until you’re in a category of one. Go, Howard Stern!
Do you need to believe in you? No. In fact, believing in you when you’re truly not good at something is very harmful because it’s out of touch with the truth. Not being good at what you love is a favorable gap that your love will endorse learning from. It’s the love that keeps you tolerant to learning through stages of poor performance. I remember sail boarding for the 1st time. After coming back to the beach bruised and cut, I still heard the voice of my vision to be a sailboarder. Instead of swimming to the beach, I stayed out there day after day, moving from horrific levels of capacity into new levels of “getting it” until my motivation increased.
Instead of needing self-help and human potential, I focused what I wanted to create, and drew power from there, not myself. That’s what kept me on task until my current level of skill becomes my desired one. So believing in you isn’t needed, instead, tell yourself the truth. If you want to believe in something, create it first, and then believe it after it exists. But don’t use believing in you to psych yourself up, you don’t need cheerleading, you need, to be honest with yourself.
Why do you do what you do?
Is there a broader context to your work? Look at defining features in your reality that bring you into your work. Learning is held in place by context in motion in modern life. Nothing stays the same, in fact, the universe is for certain a wild card. The current reality is always shifting in contrast to where you want to be.
As you consider the future you seek to create, start with a blank slate—like a blank sheet of paper. You start with nothing. Look at where you want to go within 3-5 years? Look at where you are now. What’s in between?
What if what you love isn’t valuable to others? Do it anyway, forget monetizing it, but do what you love anywhere, anytime, any place. It’ll find its way into possibilities. Be open to that outcome, but not attached to it. If the world doesn’t gather with gravity around what you love, don’t put it away. The key is that you love it. And if you stay with this, you’ll have the energy you need for everything else. You be your fan of what you love, you only need one to start.
What do you sell? I coach an event planning company that designs and executes one-of-a-kind events for children under 12 years old. After a careful look at the designers’ motivation to create these types of events, there is much more than meets the average eye. Behind the scenes, there’s the governing idea of how to help a parent give the power to their 10-year-old to design their own party experience.
By giving the youngster a voice in the process, kids are able to witness the power of living their own creations. They’re able to enjoy their effect on something which increases confidence and self-knowledge. During the event, parents experience a restorative process of becoming young again. By the time the event is over parents touched the lasting kid that lies beneath an adult life of ideals and social roles.
This is rejuvenating to the parent as they return to the meaning of guilt-free playfulness again, which takes a backseat in adult life to the selling out to other motivations. And parents enjoy the process of connection with the real gifts of their children. They come to know there’s a real artist behind the mask and recognize unrealized strengths in their kids. All this is the aftermath of a phenomenal event experience.
In this example, you can see all the elements mentioned in this article. Kids are learning by creating an event. A parent is able to witness their gifts in the creative process. Parents are changed by the process they’re involved in creating and participating. It is about creating an event as art. There’s not a school for this; it’s just Earth school at its best.
So just think about what you actually do. What lasting effects does your business have on the lives of others? How far does that go? And what does it mean to who you are and your highest future possibilities? What does your community say to you about your gifts and what it wants of you? Where are you being pulled by your instincts and not trusting them fully?
It’s time for a new contract, one with your future self that will be your rudder in the water today. When you choose this path, the world will emerge in coordination with you in a co-creative way. It’s as if your own heartbeat matches up with the heartbeat of the universe. Your will and willingness will unite, and you’ll find in you what’s been there all along.
You owe your prospects and clients your pursuit to get yourself happy. Position yourself with a manner of work, a place to live, and a life plan that fills you physically, emotionally, and spiritually, so you have the quantity and quality of energy you need to endure the demands of creating your best life with a business that suits it. Perfect an environment in your life that holds you like a crab relying on an exoskeleton to operate at your very best. You must grant power to that environment to position you for high performance and balance. Make sure that your relationships bring you into the space of operating at your very best with the way you like to work. You know your instruments, your music, your best work, and you owe it to the world to position yourself in that manner. If you work better living abroad, move there to suit your best work. If you work best at night, attend to your preferences and bring your best on at the time suitable for you. What you’re learning is it’s a two-way street. Two people need to get motivated in a relationship.
When your business buys you a fantastic life you’re loving and blessed with, the energy and appreciation you bring back shows up in your creative acts, your sharpness, and your exuberance. People are drawn to you like a magnet when you’re living well. Everything lasts when you’re well.